There are so many books, blogs, documentaries, commercials, services, products, drugs, movies, social gatherings, furniture companies, automotive companies, insurance ads, soda makers, porn agencies, cooking shows, science magazines, crypto threads, watch makers, occultists, terrariums, cyclists, pilots, fabricators, artists, rug makers, farmers, shepherds, designers, fashionistas, baristas, [redacted]s, popcorn facilities, semolina refiners, sailors, astronauts, … err, well pretty much fucking everybody and everything is about self help nowadays.
I’ve learned absolutely more than 3 things from self help blogs, but the number three is a great marketing number. Not too much, not too little. But there are three things that I want to talk about today, that I think will definitely maybe and absolutely probably make your life better.
Everybody is talking about the same shit.
No really though, everybody is struggling. Relationship problems, creativity blocks, financial stressors. Politicians taking away our rights as humans. You name it, we got it! And everybody with some success overcoming them has a solution. Here’s the one big solution that will fix everything! Persistence & consistency! Or no, wait, I think that one was, Don’t give up, just keep going! Oh fuck, actually maybe it was Take time for yourself!
Don’t forget to Take 5 seconds to center yourself, even if you’re in the middle of a very important interview. And Consider journaling, because it’s the easiest method that works that you can refer to without having to set a defined goal, even though you already know what your current goals are after taking 5 seconds to think about it. Now you definitely want to remember to Be Intentional - not about anything, just, you know, be intentional. In general. A great reminder is always that you should Think before you speak! Again, don’t forget to take 5 seconds to center yourself, and maybe think about it before you do that. Remember to keep Gratitude as an Attitude in all things. Even if your house is on fire and your local government is telling you that they can’t help you because they stopped funding social services in favor of hiring more fucking cops. You know, to stop the arsonist that set your building on fire, which they didn’t stop. (yes, true story, not mine personally thankfully).
Toxic positivity sells
It’s really easy to make some money if the product you’re selling is easy to consume in the moment. Buy the thing and feel good and forget about it and buy the next thing to feel good again. Read the thing and find that it acknowledges your struggles, and then forget about it and read the next thing to get that acknowledgement again. And again. Why are you paying money for recycled words and advice you can just read on Jezebel or some shit for free anyway. If you have the money to spend, support an artist instead that gives you emotive work to reflect on, without telling you how to do it. Discover your self.
It’s all dopamine hits and none of it is long lasting. EVERYTHING WILL BE OK ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ⁿᵉˣᵗ ⁵ ᵐⁱⁿᵘᵗᵉˢ. Social media is easier to consume when you’re in an echo chamber of love and positivity and living and laughing and loving. It is entirely detached from reality. If you can’t face your problems head on, you will not resolve them. And if you are feeling like you’re between a rock and a hard place, ultra positive attitudes are not something you can always process. Talk to folks who can relate, and look for solutions. Pity parties suck, but it works if you can talk things out with folks willing to listen to you without offering unsolicited advice. (Also, go get therapy you twat.)
Most self help rhetoric is intended to let you feel you are not alone, and then provide you with a series of tips and tricks that work sometimes, for some people. There is no universal solution, and most of it is not sustainable anyway. I found that the best way to avoid feeling alone, is to be a part of a community that is not pushing their beliefs on you, which is why I personally thrive in healthy art communities. This works for me.
Tossing all this shit in the trash is incredibly motivational
You want to see results? Stop trying to use somebody else’s methodology as a baseline, and tailor what you need for your own purposes. Nobody is going through what you are going through, the way you are going through it. We share the same subject titles, but we’re all living out different narratives. Your story absolutely sucks or rules more than somebody else’s, to you. Toss the shit that isn’t serving you in the trash. You really want to manifest something? Manifest some fire, and cleanse your soul of the shit that is holding you back. Burn away the grief, the pain, and hatred.
Truthfully, and seriously, everyone needs help, and I do mean everyone. Hell, I need help. I am dealing with afore mentioned relationship, financial, and societal pressures on a very heavy and daily basis. Add immigration woes on top of that, and you’ve got my daily claustrophobic panicked baseline of fuckery. Everything will not be ok if I spend all day trying to apply some influencer’s idiotic one-size-fits-all ideology that worked for him after he got a $250K loan from his parents after college.
I avoid toxic positivity, because I find it is dangerous. I believe that living in a state of positivity is very important, and in fact crucial to one’s well being. I tend to lean towards the Buddhist notion that you can impact positive change by living with a positive attitude. But you absolutely cannot manifest or generate positive change, if you haven’t faced the hard truths of what you need to overcome first. And to do that, you can’t just fucking read a few blogs and feel good about making an effort. You can’t fully parse positivity, unless you comprehend negativity first. Feel your feelings, but not in some academic and sterile blog post methodology. The author can’t feel your feelings for you.
You need to destroy your idols, burn your dead weight, and literally embrace the insanity in your mind sometimes. Drastic? You bet. Face your fucking demons. Go to Therapy. Eat better. Get exercise. Touch grass. Your traumas aren’t gonna work themselves out by taking 5 seconds and adjusting your “gratitude attitude.” Lean into the fucked up shit in your life, and identify what’s holding you back. Start somewhere small, or just do it all at once, there’s no godsdamn rules with this shit.
And just like all the other self help “gurus,” or whatever they’re calling themselves are saying, establish the steps that work for you to find your way through this life you have found yourself living. Your mom isn’t a guru, and she’s probably been trying to tell you the same thing your entire life so far. And if what I said here doesn’t work for you, toss that shit in the trash and find something that does. Hell, maybe live laugh love is the thing for you. I’m not here to judge (most of the time).
On that note, I’ve started releasing my most personal work with suspension, and minting and listing it on Foundation. As you might know by now, all my work tends to deal with themes of catharsis, healing, and self improvement. Since the language of this medium is a juxtaposition of viscerality and calmness, I think it does the trick of avoiding idiomatic self help bullshit, and forces honest truth on both those experiencing it first hand, and viewers.
What does looking at body suspension make you feel? What does that say about yourself to you?