Identity
noun
the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.
"attempts to define a distinct Canadian identity"
the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is.
Persona
noun
the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others.
"her public persona"
a role or character adopted by an author or an actor.
One of the strangest things about being deeply into something niche, is that people start identifying you with it, even if it is not the only thing you actively participate in. The question of identity gets really interesting when you start questioning how you perceive yourself in relation to this. Are you actually a degen, or do people just think you are one? Do you play one online while maintaining a respectable lifestyle IRL?
Generally society expects you to focus and excel in one specific thing, and maintain some secondary or tertiary hobbies to keep yourself occupied, establish social circles through, and generally stay active with. It is not uncommon for a hobby to turn into an unexpected career path. How we handle those transitions, or maintain a balance between it all tends to expose a lot about who we were, are, and are becoming.
From Persona to Identity
My fascination with the topic of identity started when I was a teen in the 90s. Since we traveled a lot without staying in one place too long, I had some difficulty with having to pick up a new language here and there, and not having solid friend groups for too long. Computers were always there though, so my persona that everybody saw was “the computer guy,” and later on, “that hacker kid.” I may have done some stupid script kiddie shit or deployed some questionable payloads in my time, but I was mostly just interested in what these machines could do beyond playing video games or helping me find *gasp* porn.
I’m still amazed that skimming .edu networks via Gopher or Mosaic yielded so much readily available porn mag material. During an age before digital photography and videography, I always wondered who the folks who scanned all these images in were. Didn’t they have classes to attend? Later I went to college and realized just how much free time you are afforded in academia.
Anyway, entering my 20s in the aughts, I was still “that hacker kid.” I was doing so many other things at this point from skating and football (soccer), to making and finding new physical art, it just kind of blew my mind that people couldn’t see past this thing they felt like they didn’t have access to. Anybody could buy a skateboard, but opening up a terminal seemed like black magic apparently. Movies like Hackers probably didn’t help us.
What a great soundtrack btw.
By the time I got into body suspension, I had become what everybody thought I was; I had spent a few years in InfoSec and IT, and was designing and developing websites for a living. So the first 5 years of suspending folks went by with people referring to me as the resident computer geek.
Then, in 2011, I suddenly had my own crew/troupe, and I was pushing the boundaries of what we could do visually with the medium of suspension on my own terms. I was no longer the web nerd but “that suspension guy.” I mean shit, I even have a hook tattooed on my left hand, and a hook sun-branded into the side of my neck. This went from being a persona, to forming my identity. I accepted it, and started developing materials and tools for my craft more seriously. I developed skills that would contribute to my chosen art form, and in the process became a proficient rigger and fabricator.
Does the art you make define who you are? I don’t think there is a universal boolean answer for this question, but I can say that I can’t look at one’s creations without getting a glimpse into who they might be. My art is a window into my mind of topographical geometry and human experience. In fact, my very first collection minted on Ethereum, “Phasing,” is entirely concerned with identity. Minted on the legacy Foundation contract, It explores the importance of our relationships with our past, present, and future selves. Seems appropriate that that’s where my journey into NFTs began, because a lot of folks in the suspension community that don’t know me well, now refer to me as “that NFT guy.” ::facepalming intensifies::
What does my art say about who I am to you? Only wrong answers.
Who are You on the Web?
The biggest irony of being a personality on the web is that you are presenting yourself how you want to be perceived, but people’s perception of who you are is generally quite different than what you think you are putting on display. In my opinion, there are mostly 3 types of users on social media:
Regular Users
The majority of people using mass social media show the world their physical face, life, and lifestyles. They are generally bolder in sharing their thoughts and opinions than they are IRL, because of the nature of typing into a little box that makes it easy to rant/ramble without being interrupted. It feels safe, so it is easy to over-share.
Power Users
Artists, retailers, brands, lifestyle coaches, etc are a smaller percentage of users on the network. They share their work, creative ideas, or even dish out advice about things without ever really showing who they truly are IRL. They are leveraging the tools of web2 to their maximum intended purpose in my opinion, and present their face as their work. Mirrors, or obfuscation? You be the judge, or just roll with it, they don’t care.
Anons
This third and much smaller group is quite diverse. Most of these are individuals who are heavy into privacy, distrust the system entirely, are trying to sell something without repercussions IRL, or just being themselves in a way the real world will not allow them to be without punishment. Maybe they are scared because of the culture in the locales they inhabit.
There will always be outliers, and hybrids of these categorizations. Which category do you fall under? Can you think of another category outside of these?
Blockchain Identities vs. Personas
When we talk about identity on the blockchain it means quite a few things for all types of users, from the ones with public profile pictures, to those that obscure their identities with art, or other means. In my opinion, the two most important things to realize here are that one’s wallet(s), and one’s chosen PFP are two important facets to the evolution of online identities.
Your wallet lets you put your money where your mouth is, which is an oddly gross idiomatic expression. It’s not as weird as say, “keep your eyes peeled,” which is seriously just fucked up, but it’s certainly strange to think of people putting money in their maws. I’ll have to write an entire article about American idioms one of these days. Somebody pressure me into doing this please.
Anyway, the transparent nature of non-custodial wallets create a transparent system that speaks to a form of altruism. By using this financial technology, you are publicly announcing that you have nothing to hide. Ironically, the you that decides this, is a persona if you choose to let it be. Your IRL identity does not have to be attached to this if you don’t want it to be, and your social media can reflect that accordingly. Maybe this is your true identity, using anonymity to explore your unfulfilled potential.
Leveraging the tools of web2 to their maximum intended purpose
This is unironically a pure form of capitalism: devoid of the societal judgements that come with being able to observe one’s physicality, your financial decisions are actions that speak louder than words. You have purchasing power, but without the weird attachment of folks knowing your gender, race, or any other statistics a company may want to collect about you.
Is that money in your mouth? Gross. Stop that.
Your PFP on the other hand, is more of a persona presentation. Here’s why I think so.
You discover and/or are active in a project, where its philosophy/art/community resonates with you so much that you’re okay rocking their art as your avatar everywhere you go. There are plenty of famous personalities heavy both into NFTs and trading cryptocurrencies that have Punks, Apes, Moonbirds, Doodles, and what have you.
Compared to the professionalism that precedes the meme-economy we are living through, this is actually fucking insane to think about until you realize that some of these folks may be decentralization maxis, or that they made literal millions in USD through these projects. If you’re new to the scene, that is probably actually even more insane to think about, I get it. If something changed the way you live your life for the better, wouldn’t you want to share that thing with the rest of the world?
Here’s where it starts to get weird. Imagine you built an identity around this persona you’re presenting online, for a few years. This ID is easily identified by way of some jpeg of a monkey. It’s to the point that 90% of people who have every minted and/or sold an NFT can identify the personality in question just by seeing this specific monkey jpeg on a sticker in a toilet stall in a shitty ass dive bar while they are railing questionable substances off each others butts. These very same people walk out of the shitter yelling, “Yoooo dingle doodle fuckwadatron’s PFP is on a sticker in the toilet let’s fucking gooooo. Bullish on monkey jpegs! WGMI!!1!”
Embarrassing? Maybe. Cringeworthy? Totally. A cultural phenomenon? Unfortunately.
Now, imagine this culturally specific and influential owner of this monkey jpeg decides to sell it. It is no longer their PFP, and they have now changed their avatar across the web to their new preferred jpeg, which is one of what appears to be a fucking goblin drawn by a 5 year old. Well that took a turn. What does this mean for the sticker in the toilet stall at the shitty ass dive bar? What does this mean for the person who now owns the monkey jpeg that everybody easily identifies as fuckwadatron’s?
“Yoooo it’s fuckwadatron’s ex PFP!”
Lame.
Some will call him paper hands (that monkey would have been 20x in one year, bro). Others will call him a smart flipper (take profit where you can). And many will say he’s just supporting this weird project (pump those bags goblin-bro). Very few will know his true motivations if they aren’t one of these. The discussion will polarize the entire community that was already either for or against this influential fuckwad(atron).
The nature of typing into a little box that makes it easy to rant/ramble
Whether fuckwadatron is having a personal identity crisis, or the rest of the cryptosphere is having a collective meltdown, we are back to where we started: people’s perception of you are, compared to how you perceive and present yourself.
Here is that time I made a meme for @richerd, who is the exact opposite of the character I detailed above:
Holy shit that was exactly 1 year ago today 🤯
Utility of Identity
Being a crypto artist does not define me as one that makes crypto art. It simply means I am an artist, that that I am choosing to show public affiliation with the crypto ecosystem and NFTs, and willing to take on some responsibility to present a modern philosophy. Folks in crypto spaces still refer to me as “the suspension guy” for the most part, but I didn’t let it get to me before I got here, and I don’t let it get to me now. I will continue to be an artist, a dev, a writer, a lover of cats and plants, and a mean cook in the kitchen regardless of the perception of others. This is my identity, and it is what grounds me, and allows me to navigate my life in a meaningful manner.
Identity is relatively fluid, while things like brands are stuck in rigidity. Personas are subjectively based on what people perceive, while identity is something oddly objective and personal. Personas are temporal and contextual, but identities have the power to reflect permanence.
This is why the body suspension experience is so resonant with me. The only way you can truly have a positive, life-changing experience while going through such an intense experience, is if you are honest with yourself about who you are. Sometimes it takes multiple suspensions to get there, and for some folks, there is no major breakthrough. It’s empowering either way, because it shows you that you are ultra-capable by destroying your self-doubts.
Ultimately, when you are up, and in the mind-space of the experience, it is just you and you alone that is navigating the liminal experience. Your true identity is either what is allowing you clarity, or the thing you are seeking. Likely both, simultaneously.
Whether it’s body suspension, or some other physical activity that elevates you by shifting your body chemistry, these are irreplaceable moments of clarity and self awareness that no fractured sense of understanding across social media can replace.
On the flip-side, introspective fringe experiences are niche, and even though they stand out loudly when observed, they are blips on a timeline. Our digital identities are interacting 24/7, even when we are not engaged through our cellular leashes; the networks don’t sleep. I still believe that singular moments that stand out in our lives are the most life changing ones, and we should never discount their implications.
Like shards of a broken mirror, we are constantly picking up pieces of our past, and trying to piece them together for a better reflection of ourselves in the future. The now is a series of decisions being made by who we currently are, just so our outwardly visible personas serve what we hope are in our best interests in the future.
You are the doyen of your own mind.
Omg! Orb this was so well written. I can resonate with so many points you made. Also, lol at “ Yoooo it’s fuckwadatron’s ex PFP!”.
I enjoy your writing a lot! Damn good point related to web3 digital Id, NFT, art and crypto. Artist myself. Experiencing this intersection of such diverse ways of life is challenging but fuckin interesting and inspiring. In end artists always used some form of latest tech to express themselves so may be it is not that surprising that we lean towards crypto world so much. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else today.